Friday, April 7, 2017

No one saves us but ourselves.

This time last year, I was still on Diamox. I still had all of the intracranial hypertension symptoms I do now (dizziness, tinnitus, headaches, back pain, neck pain, you name it), but the rest of my health was completely shot from my course of treatment. Diamox affects your ability to absorb vitamin b12, makes it harder to go out in the sun and get vitamin D, makes your hands and feet tingly and painful, and makes it hard to eat properly. I was seriously underweight, and, when my S.O. and I moved to our new apartment, he had to piggyback me up the stairs because I couldn't walk them myself.

In short, it was completely dildos.

Awhile ago, I mentioned weaning myself off of Diamox, and I wanted to pick up where I'd left off. I haven't been updating as much as I used to lately, but that's actually good news -- I haven't been updating, because I haven't been spending as much time online. Somewhat ironically, that's partially because I've been working on other, non-internet related site things (including the return of my Etsy shop!) but a good part of it has also been getting the rest of me on track.

I started out doing floor exercises from my bed, when I wasn't able to stand without my heart pounding. I progressed to using my own bodyweight, and then to filling up old juice jugs with water to use as weights. I used magick to help get me through days when I legitimately felt like my body was falling apart and my anxiety was getting the best of me. I can't say fear alone held me back, since there's a lot more to intracranial hypertension than the depression and anxiety it comes with, but living with fear certainly didn't help.

Now, I'm actually able to use these bad boys:

I eat more now, and I've been able to put on some weight. I'm still underweight, but not quite to the "I might die if I get the flu" level as before. I exercise for a little bit every day, and I'm actually able to climb stairs without getting winded. There are still a lot of things I can't do, and may never be able to -- bending over without falling, maintaining my balance, seeing properly -- but I've made myself healthier and that's what counts. I even have some muscle definition, which is positively unbelievable to me.

Now that I'm able to do stuff, I have a whole ton of summer plans I'm planning on blogging, snapping pictures of, and maybe even recording. I hope you'll come along.

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